Speak Into My Good Eye

Pizza Fest Is Coming To Brooklyn!

Drew Kaufman June 17, 2014 Music Festivals, News, SIMGEssentials No Comments

 PIZZA FEST

Listen up, shit divers,

Whut do you do if you have a record label called King Pizza records and a dozen itchy bands that want to attack your dumb skulls with sonic courtship? You throw a fucking three day music festival in Brooklyn, that’s whut.

Pizza Fest is coming to Bushwick to smash up all kinds of pony faces. They’ve got pizza. They’ve got dudes. They’ve got ladies. They’ve got dudes who look like ladies who eat pizza. You better get the fuck over here because shit is going down.

But I heard on HBO that Williamsburg is cool?< FUCK YOU, that's what I say. Bushwick is a land of circus clowns plowing through cold beers like they were pussy dicks. Are you ready for an onslaught of pepperoni annihilation grinding gears along your gnarled vertebrae? But I never of heard half of these bands? Lay your head low and open up your ear butts. The God of beards and sauce, a man I call Greggles, has graced your virgin high speed internet connection with a greasy compilation of song worms that is going to slip right into your subconscious like a hot dog in a hallway.

PUT YOUR FILTH FACES TO THE SCREEN AND CONSUME THE FEEL GOOD RECORD OF THE SUMMER.

BEHOLD “Music to Make Barbecue by” IN ALL OF IT’S GLORY!

DAMN, MY NIPPLES ARE HARD JUST TYPING THIS.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

I HOPE IT’S A PAIR OF BOOTY SHORTS SEWN OUT OF YOUR OWN SWEAT!

YOU LOOK GOOD, BABY. I BEST BE SEEING YOU AT PIZZA FEST.

You can buy a three day pass to Pizza Fest here. Single day passes are only available at the door!

Day 1 – FRIDAY, JUNE 20 @ Don Pedro (90 Manhattan Ave. Brooklyn)
Doors at 8 PM

The Fucktons
Greasy Hearts (TAPE RELEASE!!!!!)
Sun Voyager (Upstate NY)
Graveyard Lovers
The Measurements

Day 2 – SATURDAY, JUNE 21 @ Mystery Spaghetti Hut (MSG FOR ADDRESS)
ALL DAMN DAY – Doors at 1 PM

The Mad Doctors
Haybaby
St. James & The Apostles (Philly)
¡Vamanos! (TAPE RELEASE!!!!!)
OTTO MANN (NJ) (TAPE RELEASE!!!!!)
The Jeanies
Lisa Doll & The Rock n Roll Romance (Baltimore)
The Mystery Lights
Dan Soto & The High Doses (CT)
Ma
+ SUPER SECRET SPECIAL MYSTERY BANDS+
++BBQ++

Day 3 – SUNDAY, JUNE 22 @ Don Pedro (90 Manhattan Ave. Brooklyn)
Doors at 7 PM

Sirs & Madams
Maginot
Long Kill
The Yin Yangs
The Mayberries

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About The Author

Drew Kaufman is a comedian, cartoonist, and the last living ska fan in Brooklyn, NY. He also co-created Two Minutes to Late Night: the world's first heavy metal-themed talk show. http://www.drewisalrightiguess.com

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